I've been thinking a lot about how to do this post. This series of blogposts have been my most structured. While I was tempted to write "it was fine" and nothing else, I realized I couldn't let myself drop the ball like that when I've been going so strong.
To start, let's think back. I start by asking myself, what was my goal in attending this conference? Looking back, when I got the email from Drexel that they'd be funding participation, I immediately responded. Why did I want to go so much? I think because a week prior, the email about Grace Hopper funding had gone out, and I really wanted to attend Grace Hopper. I was looking for an experience like Grace Hopper, but not so female centered. Despite not knowing who Richard Tapia is, or what the organization CMD-iT is, I was excited for a full scope of diversity and intersectionality in computing hosted in part by the ACM. Can I say I accomplished this goal? I don't know if I did. The conference did offer important parts of diversity, but as a whole, I think there was a lot missing. That's not to say I didn't gain anything from this experience. Which leads me into the...
I feel like I've been very critical of this conference and it's lack of representation. I did really enjoy a lot of things about it, and I want to make sure I give that recognition.
Disability Access : When attending the Philly Trans Wellness Conference in 2018, I noticed that almost every event had an ASL interpreter, which I was not used to seeing. There were also many events at PTWC about disability, and events not explicitly about disability frequently mentioned it. After attending that conference and seeing how much disability access is overlooked, learning how easy it is to not overlook it, and spending time surrounded by diverse disabled people, my entire mentality changed. After leaving, I realized how much lacking there was in the world. I had yet to see anything that was as accessible as PTWC was. I was really happy to see how accessible Tapia was. There were ASL interpreters or captioners at almost every event. People took the time to describe their physical appearance on video. There were multiple events centered around disability. It was really nice to see. It's really common for DEI in STEM initiatives to overlook disabled people. Many of the "increasing diversity" fellowships I've seen for graduate school don't include disabled people in their descriptions. While I'm sure Tapia was far from perfect, I was happy to see the level of accessibility that is painfully uncommon in daily life.
Mental Health : Maybe my standards were too low, but the fact that there was an event about mental health blew my mind. Society is obsessed with this "grind mindset", where you work yourself to burnout for as long as you live and failure to comply with this "grindset" means you're a drain on society. This is seen in the limited number of sick days that employees get. As someone who's had mental health concerns my whole life, I'm really happy to see it brought up in the field of computing. The one panel I attended covered information I already practice with both myself and my students. Even though I already knew it, it was very affirming to hear it from someone else.
Networking : Normally, I groan at the concept of networking. It always feels very superficial and forced. I've never gone out of my way to "network" with a person or an organization. However, I think I did successfully network with people here and form connections. I met an older transgender man who has provided incredible advice in a variety of topics. I was introduced to The Papaya Project, a group of people I'd love to work with in the future. I was able to briefly meet and get contact information for people I want to contact. I accidentally met many conference chairs in events, and they heard some of my concerns about representation. I also have the tools to reach out to people about graduate school and find potential advisors. So while I hate the concept of networking, it wasn't too bad here.
Graduate School : I wasn't expecting to gain so much regarding graduate school. I've been worried about applications and funding and finding an advisor and even just getting accepted. I was really shocked to find assistance in places I wasn't expecting. This older transgender man I met earlier has given and continues to give me great advice. I met the representative from CRA-WP who gave me her email to contact her. While, I couldn't attend the RISC-V event, I read through the description and realized that watching through the recording would not only provide me with technical interest but I'd be able to find more people in labs I'm interested in.
Resources : I gained so many resources. If you read through my posts about the conference, I tried to include every link to as much information as I could.
Improvement : I've mentioned many times my issues with the representation (and I'm gonna do it again soon). However, every single step of the way, my voice and concerns were heard. People took the time to listen with intent and understanding. They did what they could to improve the situation at hand. This wasn't just apparent in the organizers, but also the attendees. Every time I shared an experience or concern, people listened and learned. When attendees made mistakes, other attendees corrected them, and they were appreciative of the corrections. It was a very good place where growth was encouraged. While it wasn't perfect, there were steps made to improve, which is a core value of mine.
I've been clear with my opinions thus far. When I say negatives here, I don't mean things that were intentionally done wrong or malicious. I wanted to just touch upon the things that were missed and overlooked, both at this conference and in diversity initiatives in general.
Registration : I covered this in the introduction, but registration really messed up the "what is your gender identity" question. It also didn't ask for pronouns or name pronunciation. These things also weren't included in the profiles in the conference Pathable online portal. I wish I could read through the registration again to see if there were other things they missed for when I write my email.
Pronouns : I'm disappointed I had to remind the organizers to include pronouns and I'm disappointed in how consistently I was the only member of the Zoom room with my pronouns in my name. It's really something that's so simple and important. Even beyond trans representation, gender is a cultural construct. In one culture, a name may appear to be traditionally female while another culture may interpret that name as traditionally male. Even then, names are not inherently gendered. In the popular sitcom Scrubs, the main female character is named Dr. Elliot Reid. At one point in the show, she is made fun of for having a "boys name". However, Elliot isn't a "boys name" because a cisgender female uses it. In addition to this, I always like to mention that if Harry Potter weren't so popular, most people would not be able to guess the gender of someone named Hermione. With this in mind, there is no way to tell someone's pronouns based on their name. There's also no way to guess someone's pronouns based on their appearance. Cisgender women can have square faces and short hair the way cisgender men traditionally do. Cisgender men can have soft features and long hair the way cisgender women traditionally do. Different cultures have different beauty traditions, and people may misinterpret them based on their traditions. So pronouns are so important beyond transgender representation, because even cisgender people can be misgendered. I firmly believe that pronouns should be listed in every place your name is. At the end of the day, pronouns are a part of speech. We learned them in elementary school grammar lessons as a word (such as I, he, she, you, it, we, or they) that is used instead of a noun or noun phrase [1]. People are nouns[2]. Names are proper nouns[3]. Since you don't know the pronouns of someone based on name alone, and pronouns are used in place of names, then pronouns should be listed everywhere your name is, regardless of gender identity or stance on LGBTQ+ representation.
LGBTQ+ Representation : The representation was really disappointing. There was only one panelist I saw who used they/them pronouns and they didn't even talk about their identity. While it's not required for people to give personal details publicly, it was still disappointing that the only representation I had was so minimal. It was in the mental health panel too. Gender identity and mental health are directly connected, so it was disappointing to not see that brought up. There were no other hosts or panelists in the events I attended who were openly LGBTQ+. Given how pronouns were overlooked, I would be surprised if any of the conference committee chairs were LGBTQ+. In addition to that, there were no events that explicitly mentioned LGBTQ+ people. There was an absurd amount of events including a whole category called "Birds of a Feather" which were support groups for specific marginalized identities. There was nothing that explicitly mentioned the LGBTQ+ community in either the title or description. I'm really hoping that I just missed something. I think I'm going to reach out to other attendees in case they saw something I missed. Even the general diversity events though had minimal references to LGBTQ+ people. There were no organizations in the best practices event that specialized in LGBTQ+ inclusion in STEM. The organizations that I talked to there didn't even have LGBTQ+ initiatives within their organizations. This is even more baffling to me when Alan Turing, one of the fathers of theoretical computer science which is the basis of our field, was tortured by the British Government for being gay. They chemically castrated him using long term hormone treatment as an alternative to prison. This torture caused a severe decline of his mental health which led to his suicide two weeks before his 42nd birthday. The British Government has since apologized and pardoned Turing, along with all other gay men treated this way in their history. It's so disappointing that this important piece of LGBTQ+ computing history isn't even mentioned at the diversity in computing conference. He was so young and had already accomplished so much. I can't imagine where our field would be now if he hadn't been tortured to death for being gay.
Theology, Spirituality, and Religion : Now I haven't talked about this at all I believe. I think that belief systems are not respected enough in the STEM fields. There is this mentality I've encountered frequently that since STEM is based around hard science, facts, and logic it cannot coexist with belief systems and practices. Whether you believe in one, none, or many higher powers does not affect your ability as a scientist. Then when religion is accepted in the STEM fields, it's limited to just Christianity. I was about to talk about my Jewish professor who used to be a committee chair for a conference, but stepped down when they scheduled the conference over Yom Kippur. When I went to check her LinkedIn to see what conference this may have been, I then saw that Yom Kippur took place from sunset on 9/15 to sunset on 9/16 this year. This conference was scheduled over Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is the most important holy day of the year in Judaism. It is a time where Jewish people pray and reflect on their sins. This is practiced and observed with a full day fast, taking time off of work, refraining from hobbies and pleasures, and synagogue services. This conference was scheduled over this holy time. I don't think a conference has ever been scheduled over Christmas. In addition to this, Muslims face so much islamophobia in America, I would be amazed if this didn't carry over to STEM. So in diversity initiative in general, I'd like to see belief systems considered more.
The Arts : This isn't an inherently bad thing since no group of people was overlooked or forgotten, but I wish that the arts were more considered in diversity initiatives, computing, and at this conference. To limit the computing mentality to a hard "black and white" science removes the creativity involved. Computing is an art. Our creative hobbies impact the way we think, compute, and contribute to the field. Cecilia Aragon talked about her experience as an aerobatic pilot and how that contributed to her research as a PhD. Weaving heavily influenced the way computer programming originated[4]. The combination of arts and computing is so important and frequently overlooked.
Moving forward, I have some emails to write to the organizers. At the very least, I want to bring the issues of registration and the community data collection form to their attention. With accurate data collection, we can see how underrepresented the LGBTQ+ community is in computing, which can lead to more resources in the future. Based on how the committee has responded to my comments thus far, I'm optimistic.
At the end of it all, I'm glad I went. Given I have the time, money, and ability, I'd be thrilled to go again next year.
[1]: Definition of pronoun from Merriam-Webster
[2]: noun (noun) : a word that refers to a thing (book), a person (Betty Crocker), an animal (cat), a place (Omaha), a quality (softness), an idea (justice), or an action (yodeling). It's usually a single word, but not always: cake, shoes, school bus, and time and a half are all nouns. Merriam-Webster Definition
[3]: proper noun (noun) : a noun that designates a particular being or thing, and is usually capitalized in English Merriam-Webster Definition
[4]: Weaving, coding, and the secret history or 'women's work'