Transgender Day of Remembrance
These past few weeks have been beyond busy and I've gotten a lot done that I've been wanting to write about (undergraduate thesis/graduate school/workshops/etc) but I just haven't had the time to recap. Trans Day of Remembrance is Saturday though, and given the year I've had, I needed to get this down before then.
"Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) is an annual observance on November 20 that honors the memory of the transgender people whose lives were lost in acts of anti-transgender violence. -GLAAD"
The Human Rights Campaign recently released their report titled "An Epidemic of Violence: Fatal Violence Against Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming People in the United States in 2021". Since January 1st, 46 known trans and gender non-conforming people have been violently killed in the United States. This makes 2021 the deadliest year for transgender people since this data started being collected in 2013. This beats the previous deadliest year for trans people in 2020 where there were 44 known deaths. It is important to recognize that these numbers are inaccurate. The actual count would be much higher, but due to transphobia, these hate crimes may not be recorded accurately or transgender people may be posthumously closeted or misgendered.
According to the National Survey on LGBTQ+ Youth Mental Health 2021 done by The Trevor Project, an LGBTQ+ lifeline, 42% of LGBTQ+ youth have seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year. This includes more than half of transgender and nonbinary youth. Then, 1 in 5 transgender and nonbinary youths have attempted suicide in the past year. The survey also covers statistics regarding housing, food insecurity, poverty, conversion therapy, and other things that serverely impact LGBTQ+ people's health.
While TDOR is tomorrow, November 20th, today Drexel University hosts their services. I am honored to be able to speak at the event alongside other student community leaders before the trans flag is raised over all three of Drexel's campus's. I wrote the following speech on Tuesday (Note: This was editted when I gave it. I included the edits):
Trans Day of Remembrance and the services that Drexel hosts are incredibly important to me and I am thankful to be able to speak here. I'm speaking here today, because as a queer transgender man, I have gone through so many unnecessary and preventable layers of shit because of my identity. As a result, I've struggled with depression, addiction, and attempted suicide more than once. No matter how much better it gets, that grief never goes away. So today, I'm speaking because I am lucky I'm not being remembered and I'm not quite sure how long I have to speak before I'll be remembered. A statistic. A name in a list.
You see, everyday I am faced with my own mortality. As trans people, we are forced to confront the reality of how transphobia, hate, poverty, and trauma destroy us and our communities. It affects the transgender community across country and across the world, but most importantly, it affects the people we're standing with in this room. In the face of this harsh reality, it's easy to feel powerless. Today, in addition to the lives we've lost, we need to remember the only way to address this pain is to strengthen our community. We need to protect each other and support each other and care for each other and love each other, the same way we always have been.
Today, let us mourn and grieve the lives we've lost, the lives we remember. Tomorrow, we continue to fight for the lives we're not remembering, the lives we still have, and the lives we will have. Thank you.
A group of people in front of two flag poles. The Drexel trans pride flag is flown and prepared to be raised
I want to take a moment to remember some of the lives lost this year. I want to take the time to not remember them as statistics, but as people. This list is non-exhaustive. The more I searched through news articles, the more names I found. Rest peacefully, may your memories be blessings.
"Her energy was intoxicating," Beverly said. "I think that’s what’s going to be missed most. She was a sweetheart. She loved everybody, and everybody loved her."
Bankz, who acquired her nickname due to her love of blueberry muffins, hoped to one day compete on RuPaul's Drag Race, friends said. Angel Karmarain recalled her as "sweet and kind."
The last years of Jackson's life were filled with love, support and acceptance as she grew into the woman she wanted to be, said Alexis Owens, Jackson's "chosen mother," a term in LGBTQ culture to denote a family member without blood ties.
"She was always so exuberant," Owens said.
According to her social media profiles, Fifty loved to dance and laugh with her friends and was self-aware about the distinction between online appearances and her private life. She also indicated that her birthday is this or next week, but the precise date is unclear.
also was known as Kimmy Icon Braxton, was a hairstylist, according to her Facebook page, on which she stated in a recent post, "they can't stop my shine."
"Whenever I was around Chyna and I knew I was working with her, it just felt like my world would light up,"
"JJ was a beautiful person with the biggest and brightest smile. We will miss your laugh. We will miss your jokes. You will never be forgotten. Fly high, JJ."
PRISM staff described Jasmine as a "sweet, shy, and artistic soul."
"My child was loving. My child was very happy. My child lived in her truth every day," Joy Griffin said.
Diamond was a ball of energy as a child and even up to her time of death. She valued her family and enjoyed spending time with them. As a child, she would say "I love my WHOLE family!" At the last family Thanksgiving dinner, Diamond let her family know she was thankful that they accepted her for who she was as a transgender.
transgender female. Unaploogetic Good energy & good vibes
Close friend Tawanda Barnett, who grew up with Peterson, told the local newspaper that she was someone who always had a smile on her face. "That was my first best friend and first person I could ever talk to,"
"We grew up together," Williams said. "We have lived together numerous times. [Lucious was] more like a sibling to me. We were both homeless at a point in our lives when we were younger. She made sure I had somewhere warm to stay, even if she didn’t. She had a very good heart."
"She was a very bold person, very outspoken. She was also loveable, everybody loved her in the community in Virginia," said Barbara Prescott, Fennell’s godsister.
"She was fabulous," Ohlde wrote on GoFundMe. "She would step into a room like a firework. Everywhere she went, she brought energy, fierce looks, and a personality that shined bright like a diamond."
Iris Santos loved the theater. When she was in middle school, she appeared in numerous productions and won festival competitions. At Alief ISD’s Elsik High School, she helped out backstage and with makeup for the theater productions. "She wanted to go to Hollywood," Santos’ mother, Maria Carreon, says. "She kept dreaming all the time, and [believed] that no one can take away your dreams."
Serena Angelique Velázquez, 31
"She was very, very active, very prominent and much beloved," said the Rev. Anthony Trufant. "She is someone who had an open heart and a listening ear and an open mind. She just exuded joy."
Her friends remembered her as someone with a "big heart", who was "funny" and who always "stayed laughing"
"Rest easy Keri Washington aka Bobo we love U," read one Facebook post. "Bobo was the real deal slay queen," said another. On Washington’s own Facebook page, she listed her relationship status as "engaged."
"Jahaira was a legend for the trans community," said Nolan Tesis, 28, a close friend of DeAlto's. "She was a mother to so many that didn't have parents. I think that she took the most pride in her role as a grandmother and a mother, a chosen family for many individuals in the LGBTQ community."
Whispering Wind Bear Spirit, 41
"I loved her very much and will be receiving her ashes. I’ve picked out a beautiful Native American urn with a white bear spirit on it."
"[Danika] was just the embodiment of love," said Ashley Evang whose known Henson for 14 years. "Anytime you were feeling down all you had to do pickup the phone and call [Danika] and [Danika] was right there for you."
The family said Taylor was "such an amazing child with a quirky sense of humor, who impacted so many people". They said having the trans teen in "our family was one of the greatest honours in our life"
Torri Chippe, a longtime friend of Boykin’s, told the paper that "he was loved and liked by everyone. He was one of those people that was just good vibes and energy."
"Even if it wasn’t happening in the moment," Diamond said, Ashton "was speaking it into existence." She called Ashton "a full-circle type of person," one who "manifested any and everything."
Vanderpump was renowned "as a fierce LGBTQ advocate" in Trenton and across New Jersey
"She was tall, like me, and she was a spirited girl," Jones told the Flame. "One day she would have purple hair, one day pink hair, and always an outfit to go with those colors."
"a well-known small girl with a big, bubbly personality" who "was a happy person & proud to be living her truth."
She was a makeup artist who went by the nickname "Titanizer" and would refer to her clients as having been "Titanized," according to reports from local community members.
"She was such a sweet individual,"
"She loved it so much that she wanted to be a makeup artist," Walton said. "She’d do my makeup, too, sometimes and was always so good at it."
Remembered by loved ones as a "ball of joy." Her best friend, DayVion Haggerty, told local news media that "everybody just loved who she was," including family members, who embraced her identity as a trans woman.
Mel Groves, a 25-year-old studying plant and soil science at Alcorn State University in Lorman, Mississippi, was the definition of a tree hugger, his friend Que Bell recalled. Bell and Groves met through a mutual friend. The three of them linked up because they were all Black transgender men around the same age. Bell said that one time he was landscaping in his yard and Groves stopped him before he began to trim a tree. "He was like: 'No, you can’t do it like that. That's going to hurt the tree.' And I was like: 'OK, let's go back to the drawing board. Let's figure out something that's good for us but also that’s good for the tree,'" Bell said, laughing. "He cared about everything, especially plants."
She was "always the life of the party," he said. "Whenever we walked on Wilton Drive to the next bar, everyone loved how Poetical was dressed. They would always comment, 'Girl, I love that hair.' Or 'Girl, I love those nails.'"
Zoella "Zoey" Rose Martinez, 20
“Zoey’s social media feeds are filled with joy, curiosity, and generosity,"
Acker’s family said that she will be remembered as a "hero" and "the type of person that always wanted to help people,"
"I’ll miss everything about her. She was intelligent and thoughtful and caring, and I loved her quirks. The whole shorts with the knee-high socks added to the stretch pants thing. She also took almost all my hats."
A friend wrote on social media that she was "an incredible advocate for the queer and trans community for nearly 20 years. ... She focused much of her time organizing and sharing her fire and wisdom with the students at Centralia College. She was always profoundly herself and a brilliant light for countless loved ones and folx in Centralia and Olympia, WA."
"She will forever be remembered by her infectious smile and her heart of gold. Her favorite thing to do was to cook because she felt it filled the belly and fed the heart," Sinclaire said. "One of our last conversations she said to me, 'I've not always been the best I could be, but thank you for caring enough to still be here for me.'"
"Jenny was an enigmatic, bright soul with enough energy to fill any room,"
Editted 11/21/2021: I changed my speech like 5 minutes before I gave it. Also included and image from the service.
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